So I figured, heck, why not. This is my blog. I can write anything I want, and I really could care less what the universe thinks about me (Not quite true, but true enough in this case.)
Let's detail the one thing about my personality that I think would most disturb those around me. Yes, even more than the mumbling to myself, the odd hopping thing I do when I get giddy, or even the strange yelping about chedder's superiority to all other cheeses; my fantasy about shared voluntary transmogrification.
Shot in the dark suggests that a large number of my readers, all 3 of them, (probably more like 1 by this point in the post ^^) aren't necessarily familiar with the term transmogrification. Webster's Dictionary defines transmogrification as being "to change or alter greatly and often with grotesque or humorous effect." Many people never really associated my preference to play transmutation mages in D&D campaigns as being a manifestation of that, but that just added to the rather interesting little game that I like to play with my friends.
See, most of my friends don't realize that my brain doesn't operate much more differently than theirs (both the sane and insane ones.) But most of them associate my "prudish, naive" behavior as being a serious anomaly in my social conduct, occasionally labeling me with the term "asexual". Most of them don't realize the importance of that outward behavior pattern. What they are seeing is actually a mortal struggle with the typical "a guy thinks about sex every 7 seconds" and my goals and ambitions. Since I have had no success trying to find a happy medium where I don't make a pass at every woman I see with any kind of figure and also don't behave like a prude, I decided that for my social condition, as well as career I'd rather be prudish than lecherous.
But that is aside from the point. Because of my intentional dissociation from women, I have developed what I would consider a rather disturbed sexual consciousness. Which, just to disturb the rest of the universe, I'll explain the specifics. Basically, in the field of transmogrification, I like it, but don't like transgender things (although I have considered what information I could gain from truly understanding women by being in their shoes for a while.) I do not like from living to inanimate, and only some very rare exceptions of inanimate to animate (living 'Barbie doll' possibility being on that list) I have no objections to the forms involving animalian hybrids (but distinctly am VERY turned off by true animal forms. Pets are NOT attractive, kitty women are. Basically the target form MUST be humanoid) I am especially fond of kitty ears. I do NOT like forms that end with more than 2 breasts, but am especially fond of situations where breast size increases, even to impossible (well beyond the can't move limit) proportions. I DO NOT like any situation involving people I know (this is a safety measure, keeps me from having too many odd thoughts about the people I have to deal with regularly) and I'm not a big fan of body inflation, but I'll occasionally find a belly inflation situation that is a turn on. I do like age transformation, but only from young to adult, but I usually avoid this context so I can avoid any passive psychological training involving young people. (There's a group of people who are truly SICK!!!)
But there's an interesting point about a transmogrification fetish: with the special exceptions of cosmetic surgery (Which I have ethical concerns with) and aging (but like I said, I avoid that for obvious reasons) it just doesn't happen in real life. I am, and plan to very happily be, the same person that I always was, physically at least. This leads to the advantage that I can be turned on by these kinds of things and simultaneously prudish life. The only way I can trigger the deal is with fiction. Because of this, my disturbed psyche doesn't interfere with daily life.
"So...", you might be asking yourself, "How do you plan to find yourself a life partner smarty-pants?"
Well, it turns out that the short answer is "Not right now". Basically school, work, personal projects (like this blog), and video games take up too much of my time. So I take advantage of my rather weird (although not unheard of) fantasy and use what I call "mitigated abstinence" to address my issues for the term of my degree. When I graduate, I do have plans, and depending on where I'm at at the time I'll decide if I plan to use the "S Plan" or the "M Plan". The S plan was described in a previous post. By remaining single and manipulating my spending habits, I get to retire and work on my projects relatively early. But if I decide that I plan to be with a women for the rest of my life the M plan (or marriage plan) is actually equally well thought out.
To implement the M plan, I will spend some time mingling with the populace and seek out a woman with the following parameters:
- Height: 5'0"-6'8" (Both extra short, and extra tall women turn me on, but I have no issues with the ones in the middle too)
- Bust: C-DD cup with 36"-44" bust.
- Waist: 20"-34" waist (I don't like anorexic women)
- Hips: 32"-44" hips (I like big butts and I cannot lie... ^^)
- Build: Everything but scrawny. I like my women to be soft, supple, and filled out. No apparent boniness, but I'm not a big fan of women who are puffy. Just soft enough that when they flex, you can just see a little bit of definition.
- Color: Who cares? There's certain hair colors I don't like on certain skin colors, but they're only achievable with dyes usually anyway (For example how many blond black people do you know?)
- Freckles: I LIKE freckles. Many freckles.
- Hair: I'm a big fan of long dark raven hair, cropped or fluffy mid length red, and anything shoulder length or better with brunette. Not a big fan of blond, but I have no dislike for it. I do however, have trouble with the "old lady curly perm", affros (too high maintenance), and any haircut where some of your scalp is intentionally exposed.
- IQ: 120-140 (I like smart people in general, but too smart and my ego can interfere
- Vocabulary: College Level is REQUIRED (For both her and my benefit. I don't do well speaking on a different vocabulary level.)
- Interests: Computing, RPGs, Anime and at least a passing interest in some non-cosmetic profession (unless we're talking cosmetic chemistry)
- Hobbies: Video Games, RPGs, and at least some kind of semi-active thing (like occasionally swimming)
- Religious Views: I tend to be open minded here, but would likely have trouble dealing with a radical. This basically rules out everyone who feels the need to impress their religion onto others. This would include many Jehovah's Witnesses, Devout Atheists, Cristian Scientists, etc.
- Physical Disability: People will probably label me poorly for this, but I am very much unlikely to consider a mate with a significant physical disability. This oddly enough comes as a matter of expense and convenience. Living with a person who is disabled mandates special considerations that are both costly and difficult to live with. This doesn't mean that a blind, deaf, paraplegic is out of the running, but it's definitely not working in her favor.
- "Neatness Level": I really would rather have a partner who's okay with living at the dirty level that I am (Clear paths, but piles anywhere they don't get in the way.) Must be willing to trade off on mandatory cleaning tasks (dishes and clothes) and needs to understand that I don't do special washing procedures, but am willing to do my own clothes if she will do her "special" laundry herself.
- Expected Home Role: I don't hold that women should be bound to the house. If she wants to be a house wife, that's fine, but I don't have any expectations in this department. We'll work out some arrangement where all of the home needs are met by BOTH parties if she wants to be career oriented.
- Children: a MUST (Otherwise, why choose a life mate?) However a reasonable sized brood (no more than 3, and preferably 3) would be the reasonable limit.
- Age: >= 20 and < 35, for now. I'd rather not play in the kiddie pool, as well as staying out of the people who by this time are well advanced in some pre-existing life. It would be quite difficult to build a new life around a well established one.
- STDs: None, sorry. No tolerance here.
- Alcohol, Cigarettes: Social drinking is fine, but I have no plans to keep alcohol around. As for smoking, If they're willing to be banished outside, then I MIGHT consider a smoker, but I would prefer not.
- Illegal Drugs: None. Not even the ol' Mary Jane.
- Prenup: Here's one that's gonna get me a thousand strikeouts early; the prenuptial is a MUST. Marriage is a MAJOR life choice, and I wouldn't enter it unless I was absolutely sure of it's success, but I've been wrong in the past, and as with any major life choice, I'd really rather have all of the details of the arrangement (and what to do if the unthinkable happens and we divorce) planned out in advance, in writing. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. With 1:2 odds, don't you think you should plan for the outcome that is as likely to pop up as a heads on a coin toss?
- Political Affiliation: I'm not picky here, but a radical who has put no consideration into why they're rallying for the cause would rub me SERIOUSLY the wrong way.
There's still some intangibles here that apply, but I think that's a pretty good summary of my search goals.
So now that I'm gonna loose about 90% of my readership to people disgusted with my sexuality, I think I'll goto bed. ^^